Nirvana
by KeiranEmrys
Summary: Balthier/Vaan. Vaan was a simple seventeen year old boy who saw freedom in the skies. Balthier was a dashing sky pirate. It only seemed right that Fate would bring these two together. Too bad Fate has other obstacles in store for them.
1. Prologue

**Summary:**Vaan is a simple seventeen year old boy who sees freedom in the skies. Balthier is a dashing sky pirate. It only seems right that fate would bring these two together.

**A/N: **AU, because I haven't finished the game yet, and this takes place after the events of the game. I have limited knowledge of the ending, and I will use some elements from that to my advantage, but other than that this is considered AU. **R&R please! Comments are the sustanance of writers!**

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**Prologue**

The first time Vaan and Balthier met, they were both thieves, fighting to steal the same treasure. The series of events that followed that night were fantastic, dangerous, and above and beyond anything they would have expected. Battles and arguments were fought, each having its own kind of passion, its own kind of magnitude. Friends were made, as well as enemies. Their lives, and the lives of others, were drastically altered by the changes that faced Ivalice.

And what changes they were. Ashe was now a queen; Penelo had practically eloped with Larsa; Basch remained an ever faithful guard to his majesty and never left her side; Balthier and Fran were missing, presumed dead. And Vaan. Vaan was now a sky pirate. All his life he had dreamt of flying, being free to roam the skies. And when he had met Balthier for that first time, the striking sky pirate had only made him want that life more. And now he had it. He even had his own airship, well, kind of. Since Balthier and Fran were missing, there was no one to take care of the _Strahl_. Balthier had once told Vaan that if anything untoward would happen to him, the Strahl was in Vaan's hands. So the beautiful airship fell into Vaan's possession and he worked to take good care of her, if only for his long gone friend.

For about a year Vaan travelled the world, pirating and visiting all the places he could. He saw many new things and met many new people. Being a thief for the majority of his childhood, pirating came easily to him, and he quickly gained a reputation for himself. So quickly in fact that he made a few enemies in every corner of the world and earned himself a new name. Tarasviin the sky pirate, he was now known as. It followed with him a reputation of being quick and nimble like a fox and able to get out of almost any trap.

Many hunters have tried to get him, and all have failed. For this reason Vaan flaunts himself. Every town he goes to, he extends his stay. He struts through the streets, reveling in the feeling of intimidation others feel around him. Taking a page out of his old friend Balthier's book, he adorns himself in treasures. Rings and bracelets, earrings all the way up his ears, outlandish and stylish clothing, and a hint of a daring smirk.

One thing he does not let himself fall to is a cocky attitude. Though seemingly battle hardened pirate on the outside, when one deigns to speak to him he is eager to converse back, and all the sweetness of an eighteen year old Dalmascan orphan shines through. He gladly smiles and talks to you in a gentle voice. And in a conversation with him you could forget you were talking to an infamous sky pirate with a bounty on his head. At least you could forget that until said bounty hunters interrupted and Vaan would have to leave the city and find another place to pillage.

It was one such situation that Vaan found himself in on a visit to Balfonheim Port.

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Vaan opened the door to the Whitecap. The inside was dim, lit only by a few sconces and candles at each table scattered throughout the room. _All the more better for me. _He slid into a seat at the bar, various jingling noises coming from the many pieces of jewelry that adorned his body. He motion to the tavern master.

"A glass of your finest ale," he said without preamble. The large seeq who happened to be tavern master and owner of the establishment walked over, glaring.

"Sorry," he said, not a trace of apology in his voice, "we don't serve your kind here."

Vaan rolled his eyes and sighed. This had been happening more often the past month. He looked imploringly at the seeq.

"Oh, come on. It's been a busy day for me and I could really use a drink." The seeq didn't budge.

"Well then go find your drink somewhere else kid." Big. Mistake. Vaan bristled and looked at the tavern master challengingly.

"Who are you calling a kid?"

"You wanna start somthin' master sky pirate, huh? Well go ahead. I know a group of bangaas that are dyin' to see your head on a plate. I can have them here faster than you can say 'ouch.'" Vaan was on the verge of leaping out of his seat when a hand gently grasped his shoulder.

"Now, now. Really Gormik, there won't be any need for that. I'll take two glasses of ale please, and don't go saying you won't serve me now." The seeq, Gormik his name was apparently, grunted and filled the order. He plopped the two glasses down in front of Vaan, glaring the whole time. Grumbling to himself, the seeq trudged off to deal with other customers. The hand removed itself from Vaan's shoulder and his unknown rescuer sat down next to him. Vaan turned to see who had helped him. The face that met him shocked Vaan to say the least, though he should have known. Taking a sip of ale, Balthier gave Vaan a glance and a small smirk.

"It's good to see you again Vaan."

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**A/N: so this idea just popped into my head one day and i decided to try it out. please r&r and tell me what you think? should i continue?**

**TBC?**


	2. Old Friends

**A/N: **Okay I just want to say first off that I don't exactly have any idea of where I am going with this (just a vague picture of it in my mind), so I expect there to be periods of time where I won't post for a while. Please bear with me, it's my first attempt at writing as I post and really, this story just came out of the blue. I am going to try my hardest to keep postings regular, but I make no promises. Any ideas or suggestions of what I could do with the story will be considered and appreciated. If you read to the end of this note I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you care enough to read stupid author's notes instead of the story that you really want to read. And for the record (just to give you a clearer picture) the Vaan I have imagined for this storyline looks very similar to how he did in FF Tactics A2, minus the metal gloves and plus a lot of Balthier-ish jewelry. Anyways, no more dallying. On with the story!

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**Recap: Prologue**

_Vaan turned to see who had helped him. The face that met him shocked Vaan to say the least, though he should have known. Taking a sip of ale, Balthier gave Vaan a glance and a small smirk._

"_It's good to see you again Vaan."_

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**Chapter 1: Old Friends**

Vaan blinked. No. Way.

"But-you… Balthier?!" The older pirate just smiled and continued to sip his drink. "You were dead! You and Fran went missing! You-You're dead!"

Balthier sighed. He reached over and put a hand on Vaan's shoulder again. He tried to calm the sputtering young man.

"I know this is a shock for you Vaan. However, right now you need to calm down before you attract more attention to yourself." Vaan's mouth snapped shut and he settled for looking at Balthier as if he'd seen a ghost. Well, considering he'd thought his old friend had been dead for the past year, maybe to Vaan he really was a ghost. Balthier gave a sad smile.

"I think… we should go somewhere to talk. I would assume that you have many questions for me, and I have some answers, but not here." He stood and touched Vaan's arm, beckoning the blond to follow him. "Come, we'll speak on the _Strahl_," pausing, he looked intensely into Vaan's still shocked eyes, "assuming that it is still in your capable hands of course?"

Vaan pursed his lips. As if he would give the _Strahl_ up? Mad. The older pirate was bloody mad if he thought for one minute that Vaan would commit such an atrocity. He told Balthier as much, which earned him a chuckle. "Of course. Come on then, best not to waste time."

The blond finally stood up and followed Bathier out of the tavern, his so sought-after glass of ale sitting untouched at the bar.

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The walk to the Aerodrome was made in silence, the older pirate leading the way with Vaan not too far behind him. Both pirates took quick steps, Balthier determined to get out of the public eye, and Vaan determined to get some answers.

Safe and sound in the _Strahl_ both headed straight for the control room. Balthier sat down gracefully in the driver's seat and turned to look calmly at Vaan. The young man rolled his eyes. _Typical Balthier; always wants to be on top_. Vaan sat down as well and looked back at his friend. The silence stretched. Balthier stared into Vaan's cerulean eyes. He saw the veiled hurt there, and knew this wouldn't be easy. He sighed.

"Well, I suppose I should tell you how I survived the Bahamut." He glanced at Vaan, ready to explain everything that had passed from that last moment on the Bahamut to now, but then he saw the blond's expression. Vaan glared at him—let me repeat that, _glared_ at him—and flexed his fingers, almost like he was holding back from beating the shit out of something or someone (most likely target: a stupid, idiotic, _baka_ sky pirate named Ffamran "Balthier" mied Bunansa).

"No. I don't want to know how you survived or how you got out. That's all in the past now and it doesn't matter. What I do want to know is why the hell you stayed away for a _year_. The least you could have done was let us know that you were alive!" he paused, and noticing that Balthier's own composure did not change, he stood, more anger creeping into his voice than before, "So, what, you think you can just show up a year later and suddenly everything's going to be alright again?! You think that some silly explanation is going to make me feel okay? Do you have any idea what you made me go through, what you made _everyone_ go through?"

Balthier's normally well-honed self-control finally cracked. You know what happens when you shake a can of soda really hard and open it: it explodes. Well that's pretty much what this was like, only less sticky.

"I'm sorry, alright! I'm sorry for what I did!" Balthier stood as well, placing his hands lightly on Vaan's shoulders in an effort to calm the young man, "I never meant to hurt you Vaan."

Blue met brown, and Vaan couldn't help it. After so much time, bottling in his feelings and reigning in his emotions, the pirate just couldn't hold anymore. Sorrow, grief, heartbreak, all spilled over and Vaan found himself collapsing against the other man's chest. Arms came up swiftly to hold him. Small tremors wracked his body. Vaan tried to hold in the tiny whimpers that his body was desperate to let out. He gripped onto Balthier's shirt, convinced that if he were to let go then his friend would disappear, he would wake up and this would all have been a dream; a horrible, awful dream.

Time passed. Whether it was minutes or hours, they did not know. The two men just stood there, one weeping his heart out, the other holding on for dear life. They were the picture of fragility.

Vaan's tears finally ceased, but the blond did not move from his spot on Balthier's chest. Likewise, Balthier made no move to remove him. If anything his arms wrapped tighter, trying, subconsciously, to reassure the young man that he wasn't going anywhere. Vaan sniffed and spoke softly to Balthier.

"I thought you were dead."

"I know. Vaan, I can't apologize enough for what I did." Vaan blinked and shifted to look up at the man who was once his friend and mentor.

"Why? Why didn't you come back? Why did you let us think that you were dead?" Balthier pursed his lips slightly, looking very much like he did not want to answer that question. His arms came from around Vaan to grasp lightly at his shoulders. He leaned down slightly to be eyes to eyes with the blond and a very serious look came upon his face.

"I need you to understand Vaan. It was better for me that everyone was under the impression of my demise. I have been a sky pirate for quite some time, much longer than you have, and I have made many enemies that would be very glad to see my head on a plate. I am no saint, and what I did is certainly the most selfish thing I could do, but it was a perfect opportunity to get the headhunters off my back." Balthier paused, seeing understanding in Vaan's eyes, then gave a smirk. "Besides, where can a leading man possibly go if he's always being hunted everywhere he goes?"

That drew a chuckle. Balthier released Vaan's shoulders and brought a hand up to rub the remains of tears from the blond's face. They smiled at each other. Balthier heaved a big sigh and turned towards the door, head tilted.

"Now, I believe there is the matter of my room to attend to, and _you_ have a lot of stories to tell me." He walked out of the room and down the corridor to his old room, which was still as it was a year ago. Vaan laughed quietly to himself and jogged to catch up, shaking his head. It was almost like he'd never been gone. It was almost… normal.

TBC

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**A/N: So? What do you think? is it still good enough to continue? and thank you to the reviewers so far. you guys are awesome and please, i look forward to feedback of ANY kind: good, bad, ugly, random, nice, angry, disgusted, constructive, love, random greeting with cookies... ^_^ i shall try to have more up soon, but i make no promises, i still dont have an inkling of where these two sky pirates will take me...**


	3. Stories

**A/N: **So, here is the next chapter. I'm sorry it took so long, but really, I have no idea what I'm doing, but apparently it's good so I shall continue as long as I can. Not much plottage yet, just fluffy and humoury goodness (and maybe some angst… o.O), but I promise some sort of plot will start soon. I won't bore you with another long author's note (oops, too late); I just want to say that if anyone has any ideas or suggestions for this fic, I would appreciate the input. And I apologize for the various Author Notes throughout, I wrote this at about 2 in the morning and I tend to ramble a bit that late… or I suppose it would be early wouldn't it? Hmm, see what I mean? Meh, anyways back to the task at hand. ^_^ That is all! You may now resume reading…

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**Chapter 2: Stories**

Due to the unexpected arrival of his once thought dead friend, Vaan decided to stay in Balfonheim a bit longer than he had originally intended. In fact he ended up staying for a whole week longer. He and Balthier barely ever left the Strahl, except to shop for food and other supplies. The days they spent together, lounging in Balthier's old room, talking and sometimes Vaan would tell Balthier all about his adventures as a sky pirate.

Balthier would always listen to his stories with a certain degree of amusement and pride. When they had first met and Vaan had professed a desire to roam the skies, Balthier had balked at the idea of such a naïve boy becoming a sky pirate. Yet here he was. Not only was he a sky pirate, but one with considerable reputation. Balthier smiled at the excited youth, and asked the burning question he'd been dying to know for the better part of the last year.

"So," Vaan looked at his expectantly at the minute hesitation. "Tarasviin? What sort of pirate name is that?" Vaan rolled his eyes and punched Balthier softly on the shoulder.

"You're one to talk 'Ffamran'." That earned him a playful glare. Vaan chuckled. "Well if you must know, it wasn't my idea. It sort of picked up, after some headhunters decided to call me that." Balthier raised both eyebrows.

"Headhunters gave you a name? Interesting. And what, pray tell, does it mean?"

Vaan was silent for a moment and looked over at Balthier. He seemed almost… embarrassed. "It's an ancient word for 'energetic' (1).

Bathier immediately tried to hold in laughter, but it was difficult and a few chuckles found their way out. Vaan shoved him this time, a small blush creeping up his cheeks, giving his face a cute rosy look. Balthier's giggles (they're manly giggles I assure you…) subsided after a bit and he looked at Vaan in amusement. The poor lad had his head hanging and he looked the very picture of embarrassment. Alas, Balthier did not let that stop his delight.

"And what exactly is the story behind that little tidbit?" Vaan was silent for a moment, refusing to give in. But a glance at his friend was all it took; Balthier was genuinely curious, he could see that. He sighed and began to relate the short, albeit embarrassing story of his new name.

"There was a group of bangaas that had been tailing me for a couple weeks. Flew all over Ivalice trying to shake them, but they kept finding me. They finally caught me, in Rabanastre of all places." He gave a self-deprecating scoff and shook his head lightly. Balthier nudged him encouragingly.

"Go on."

"Well, they gave chased all over the city, and cornered me down in Lowtown. It was in an alcove on the far east side of the North Sprawl. I was well and truly trapped, and they delighted in telling me as much. There were three of them if memory serves me, and the two larger ones started to advance on me, telling me there was nowhere to go, nowhere to run, and I might as well give up. They started joking with each other, taunting me. _'Quite the little mouse we 'av here don't we! Yeah we got ourselves a little Tarasviin! Can fox 'is way outta anythin' can't he?'_ one of them said.

The other two laughed and then I took my chance. I bolted between them and ran as fast as I could to the Aerodrome. The poor saps had laughed so hard that they couldn't catch their breath enough to follow me and I was able to get away. The next week I was in Arcades and I heard word of a great sky pirate who'd escaped from a sorry predicament. They all called him Tarasviin and it didn't take long to know it was me they were talking about. And that's it. That's the great story of Tarasviin the sky pirate."

Balthier could now see why it was embarrassing for the blond. "Hm. So they chased you to your hometown and cornered you in a place that you grew up in, and you got a name for giving them the slip…" Vaan could see that Balthier was trying to hold in a smile. He once again punched him in the shoulder.

"Shut up, need I remind you that this was only half a year ago? I wasn't exactly a professional like _you_."

"Oh-ho, really? My dear Vaan, I'm sure that even our lovely Lady Ashe could have devised a better escape than that. And that's not accounting for her being a woman."

Vaan's face was blank and slowly morphed into indignation. He was sure he had just been insulted. Or called a woman. Either would warrant the same reaction, which he indeed gave. The sound _smack_ reverberated on the walls as he strode out, leaving Balthier falling back on his bed, laughing his ass off and paying no mind to the bruise that would surely blossom from the repeated abuse.

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Tomorrow came, and Vaan seemed to have gotten over his little hissy-fit from the previous day, and things settled back into their routine. He had just gone to the kitchen to get breakfast when he stumbled (no, literally, _stumbled_, it is early in the morning and I have a feeling that Vaan is not a morning person… unless of course it's the morning after… XD) upon Balthier sitting at the table with a biiiiiig cup of steaming coffee.

The brunette looked up as Vaan entered. They smiled at each other, though Balthier's was considerably more cheerful given that he had the added advantage of Caffeine. Regardless, Vaan slowly made his way to the food storage room (fancy phrase for _pantry_ but I digress). He grabbed himself a mini box of cereal, popped it open and started munching on the contents. Sitting down with the older man he gave him a _look_. Balthier glanced back.

"Something on your mind, Vaan?" Due to the earliness of the day it took Vaan a moment to process what was being asked and to form a subsequent reply (My, am I getting fancy today).

"Yeah. I was wondering. Whatever happened to Fran?"

Balthier tensed. Obviously this wasn't something he was keen on talking about. Vaan started to regret asking, but he had been curious. He knew that Balthier had been _this tight_ with the viera, and Vaan wanted to know what had happened, if anything. He watched as Balthier cleared his throat and avoided eye contact. When the pirate spoke it was tense and it was with such a tone of finality that Vaan would make sure to never mention it again.

"Vaan, I'm going to say this once and only once, and I want you to listen. I do not wish to speak on the matter and I would appreciate if you did not bring it up again. Is that clear?"

Vaan just nodded and went back to his munching. He wouldn't mention it again, but that didn't stop him from wondering. Maybe all Balthier needed was time. Maybe the brunette would tell him when he was ready. But looking at Balthier, who had relaxed slightly and gone back to sipping his coffee, Vaan wondered if they could ever have the kind of closeness that had existed between Balthier and Fran. He wondered if Balthier would ever want to be that close to him. Vaan had to admit, at least to himself, that the thought of Balthier being so close made him giddy with something he couldn't quite explain.

Vaan caught hold of that emotion and examined it closer. He couldn't describe it; it was unlike anything he had ever felt before. But whatever it was it was undeniable that it was connected to Balthier. Every time his thoughts drifted to the brunette he would get this warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was a curious fluffy feeling. He didn't know quite how to react, and so for the moment he decided to put it on the back burner.

Vaan shook his head, hoping to rid himself of those thoughts like a dog rids itself of water. With one final glace at Balthier, both men continued breakfast in relative silence, slowly easing back into the jovial friendship they had had for the past few days. By the time lunch rolled around, things had pretty much returned to normal and both were in the control room. The time had come to leave Balfonheim; Ivalice awaits, and to tell the truth, Balthier was eager to see how Vaan did with driving.

TBC

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**A/N: Okay, so… yeah I know what you're thinking. No, its not over. Please, just cuz I don't know where to doesn't mean I'm going to leave it at that. Sooooo not enough boyxboy loveyness going on. And to be honest I want to get away from all the angst in that one paragraph. So don't like angst. (Or ANGAST as my friends like to say XD) So yes it shall continue, soon, I promise. And to serve as a teaser (my treat for future and present loyal readers and reviewers XD):**

"What do you mean you're engaged?!"

"Well, apparently saving the High Chief's daughter from crazy, rabid Giant Wolves somehow translates to 'I want to marry you and make lots of babies.'"

"… Well that sucks."

**^_^ looking forward to your feedback on this chapter, and writing the next one.**


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